I watched a video yesterday about how the parents of a 3 year old with a rare form of leukemia dealt with her death. The couple had so much strength and such a beautiful outlook on things. They celebrated her life AND her death. They were GRATEFUL for the time that they had with her. They realized that it was NOT meant to keep her longer than they could and instead of blaming God or questioning why…they accepted the act of death and instead of allowing themselves to suffer with attachments to her they decided to do something different. They decided to treat her funeral like the wedding that she would never get to have. Just like the parents are to give away their daughters to the groom to create her own family, they prepared themselves to give their daughter to God. The funeral was beautiful. So was the little girls body. They greeted guests like they would at a wedding..with smiles and hugs. At the end of the video the couple expressed how they felt so much peace after their decision to accept their loss instead of holding onto negative feelings of hurt, anger, and the need to have her. They made peace with the fact that their child was needed elsewhere and they had been blessed to have had experienced life with her in the first place. From that video, I think we can learn alot. It is a wonderful example of how to change our perception of death and loss. I think we can also relate this to many other unfortunate events in our lives. A shift in your mindset can fix your perception which changes your reality, but it is easier said than done. The first step is identifying what is holding you back from happiness and figuring out how you can change it. These are some things that hold us back from changing for the better:
- Not Letting Go. Hard lesson but we need to learn acceptance of the things that we can’t change even when they seem unfair, painful and life changing…in other words, learning to let go of our own desires that can’t come true. There will also always be things that are not in our control. Look at the situation and realize that if it’s not in your control, you cannot let it consume you.
- Being Set In Your Ways. Doing things the same way all the time yet expecting different results is a form of insanity yet so many of us live life this way. Though it’s intimidating to face, you don’t have to do anything, and you don’t have to do anything in any specific way. Stop doing what you think you’re supposed to be doing and think about what you really want to do in each moment. You hold the power to eliminate the fear of regret.
- Expecting The Worst. The couple in the video experienced parents worst nightmare; the loss of a child, however, instead of expecting that loss to devastate their family or expecting their lives to continue with a void, they decided to be grateful for the time they had together, understanding that it happened and to look forward to the future. Try expecting the impossible…that life can go on in spite of….
- Label And Boxes That We Confine Ourselves To. When we go through life confined to these specific ideas of what we should be, we see others as we think they should be, too. Just as expecting the worst from people results in negative attitudes, judging does, as well. How many times have we judged everyone around us when simply walking down the street, let alone the people we actually interact with? When we start to see the beauty in people’s differences, life in general seems a lot more beautiful and easier.
These are a few things that prevent us from being able to live the kind of life that we all wish for. Life is happening everyday to all of us. Good things happen, bad things happen. I do not believe that we are meant to constantly live in suffering. Sometimes a change of perspective is what we need in order to have that internal happiness we all hear about. Thank you for reading Soul Food, please share this for you never know who may benefit from these words.